The Seven Deadly sins.

The seven deadly sins. Vanity, Gluttony, Avarice (Greed), Sloth, Envy, Wrath, and lust. Every single person fights with these sins.

I decided to take a break from scathing myself with my deep dark feelings about my moms death and think about these sins...which have possibly taken over the better part of my free mind. I have dealt with all of these in the past few weeks.

Vanity: Continuously looking at my ever moving forehead and wondering when the soonest appointment is to see the plastic surgeon for more dysart injections, and pinching my ever growing wasteline and wondering where the hell all this extra jiggle is coming from.

Gluttony: I have been fighting this one for sometime now. Like today, it wasnt IF I was going to buy some candy at CVS pharmacy, it was am I going to get the peanut butter cups, which I recently found out that I am probably highly allergic to peanut butter or the gummy bears BUT if I should get both and the chocolate covered marshmallow too. Needless to say, I bought all three.

sloth: On my very few and far between weekend free time, I spend the better half of my day lately looking around my room and my house and wondering if my fat ass is going to get up to clean the house, then I fall asleep and wakeup to clothes that were sitting on the floor days and days ago.

Lust: I recently saw Thor with my brother and all I could think of was " that guy is SO hot" and crap, I need to have a baby soon!!

Greed: These days in these "economic hard times" I think more and more people are becoming greedy. We are all less caring and compassionate and if we aren't trying to save a buck, we are trying to find ways to make an extra one.

Wrath: There have been more than a handful in my life who have had to see the "wrath of Lauren". I have become more mild mannered in my wise old age here, but there are still a few that pull out my inner 5 year old and have to hear the fits and screams when I get pissed off.

And lastly Envy. I save this one for last because I do not really consider myself and envious person. If I see something I want then I reach out and take it, like a thief in the night. But I can't help feeling that others have become little green envious giants in the night. I have been struggling with this lately because she seems to be the biggest bitch out of the 7 sins. Placed in the middle, I really believe she feeds the other 6. When people become envious, they tend to become jealous, angry, bitter, and rejected...and probably if you are an emotional eater...FAT or Fatter...which ever one comes first.

In the past four years of grieving, yes four years...which seems like a lifetime to some who have not yet lost a parent, but seems like not too long for those who have, I have concluded that the stages of grief have  a lot to do with these "deadly sins". Denial and Isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Because these steps like the interactions of these sins, can be muddy, its hard to pin point where you are at. Some days one might be in anger and then back to isolation, then to depression, then to isolation. Once death comes knocking on the door, denial can be a pretty hard one to go back too.